Looking for a Master

I never thought I would be the kind of person who wanted or needed to have a MASTER. Looking back on it though, the signs were there. Even though I thought I was a "man" I was always passive and felt safest when someone smarter and/or stronger was in charge of things. At the start of puberty I was blessed to see images of gay sex and that was it for me...COCK became my closet obsession. For years I craved COCK, was and still am addicted to porn, and often tried to put myself in situations were I might be raped, secretly longing to be taken, used and abused.

 And then I found sissy hypno porn and was hooked and found my way to the Queue Balls hypno training and it was so profoundly transformative that I feel madly in love with the Queue Balls MASTER and begged to become him property. For a few glorious years I was in servitude to my MASTER and loved every second of it. My life felt erotically blessed in so many ways and so often I felt like the whole universe was supporting my work with my MASTER. Every time I communicated with my MASTER there were strange synchronicities that made me feel like HE was beyond human, like HE was connected to cosmic forces. But then HE left and for the longest time I have been yearning for another MASTER who was as great and powerful as HE...every fiber in my being aches for a MASTER...

I know in the depths of my being that I was born for this. I even had three different psychics tell me that in previous lives I was a slave and that it is part of my essential nature on a deep soul and spirit level. And so I had finally come home...then the home was taken...and now I search again...searching for a home in a true, great and powerful MASTER who will use, abuse, degrade, debase, humiliate, own and enslave me and allow me to serve the great COCK GOD in him and in all ALPHA MALE GODS and MASTERS.

I have found a few since then but they have either not been interested in me or I did not feel the great calling to serve them like I did with my previous MASTER. There is one I am communicating with now and it started to feel like it was meant to be but it is feeling distant now. I am not sure if I did something to cause him to pull away or if it is just my imagination. I am such a weak and inferior being sometimes I get lost...of course I am never lost when there is a COCK GOD inside of me...perhaps that is the only time I am not lost.

Finding the right MASTER and the right slave is often a great challenge but once we find each other there is no greater relationship in all of creation.