The first time the DARK LORD came to me was about a week after I graduated from ministry school. I have been haunted by wild erotic gay and sissy sex fantasies for as long as I can remember. I thought going into the ministry would help me transcend these dark desires, but instead it only made my desires more powerful and my fantasies more haunting and wild. Even during my graduation I could not help yearning for COCK. In fact, it had gotten so bad that there were no moments without this intense yearning permeating my beingness, even during my prayers and meditations...COCK haunted my beingness. The week after graduation I tried to go cold turkey and not watch any porn or masturbate for the whole week...I had been jerking off to porn everyday for years up to that point. Every hour I prayed and meditating, begging GOD to help me.
Finally, late one night, I broke down. I was alone in bed feeling lost and forgotten by my Lord and all I wanted to do was masturbate. I felt such shame but somehow that shame made me desire it even more and all of a sudden my will broke and an inner vision of two giant COCKs ravaging me from both ends rose up in my mind from unknown depths within. I started to cry as my whole body tingled with ecstatic energy and my COCK got rock hard. I grabbed my hard throbbing COCK and wildly jerked myself off to my inner fantasy visions while I cried more and more deeply from a strange mixture of great ecstatic joy and great ecstatic shame. When I came I shot a huge load and my whole body went limp and I started to weep uncontrollably, feeling more lost and empty than I ever had before. In that moment I whispered out loud with all my heart and soul...”OH GOD, HELP ME! STOP THIS MADNESS! GOD, JESUS, ANYONE OUT THERE...PLEASE HELP ME!!!
Suddenly I sensed a presence in one of the dark shadowy corners of my bedroom. I looked closely and saw a faint ghost-like outline of a huge hulking naked man. I gasped and trembled in fear as I felt a powerful presence radiate from this shadow, a presence that felt dark and foreboding and at the same time seemed to be radiating a strong primal sexual desire for me that turned me on in ways hard to describe. I could feel this dark desire shooting toward me and then it surrounded me and penetrated me and somehow I felt that same desire rising up in me and meeting this unknown presence. Awash in a sea of conflicting and overwhelming emotions and desires I forced out a quivering whisper...”Who’s there?”
In an instant the shadowy figure bolted toward me and I froze in terror as it leapt through the air and did a ghostly dive into my trembling body. A tidal wave of erotic energy and heat crashed over me and into my entire being and my whole body rippled with deep undulating erotic waves as the ghostly figure appeared to move through me and fill me with its presence. My COCK got even harder, my balls churned, my asshole and nipples tingled and my mind filled with a rush of erotic visions of men fucking and sucking each other throughout all time. These were more than visions, it felt like I was each and every one of those men, feeling everything they were feeling and feeling it intensely in my whole being. I witnessed and experienced everything from passionate gay lovers to wild gang-bangs and orgies to violent alpha males raping, sexually torturing and enslaving hundreds, thousands, millions of other males into submission...experiencing being all of them all at once...the givers and receivers; the penetrators and the penetrated; the rapists and the victims; all of them. I was also simultaneously aware of my own body convulsing in sync with the visions with powerful and uncontrollable orgasmic waves like nothing I had ever known before or could have even imagined.
At the same time I could feel the presence that leapt inside me expanding and deepening within my being even more till it both filled me and surrounded me. I felt like HE was in total control of both my body and my mind, taking me on some strange and wild erotic trip. Then I heard a deep powerful VOICE whispering inside me: “I have come to answer your call for help. Surrender to me and I will give you all that you desire and more. I will turn your shame into joy and your madness into wonder.”
After the VOICE spoke my inner visions shifted and somehow my mind began to replay all my gay and sissy sex fantasies from my whole life, taking me through them is such a visceral way that I felt as though I was actually living through them. My body convulsed even more with wave after wave of ever greater full body orgasms as I went through all this. In my head I whispered: “Are you Satan?” And the VOICE responded not in a whisper but with an inner depth, tone and volume that shook me to my CORE: “SATAN is one of my many names...but the only name you need to know is MASTER.” Somehow when the VOICE said the name of SATAN I felt an overwhelming power and force that filled me with great awe, terror and a strange and deep erotically charged inner cowering; and when the VOICE said that the only name I needed to know was MASTER, my inner erotic cowering deepened even more as spiraling waves of great fear intertwined with primal erotically charged desires to submit, to be controlled, to be dominated, by this powerful erotic force.
I was terrified and wanted to run. I was turned on more than I had ever been and wanted to surrender into the erotic darkness. The collision of my fears and desires paralyzed me and I whispered out loud: “But I was calling on GOD...” The VOICE laughed and whispered: “remember, you called on GOD, Jesus, or ANYONE out there...you opened the door and called and I am here my child. I will answer your prayers and give you the life you always wanted and could have been living all this time save for your silly fears and repressions in the name of the Divine.”
Just then the inner visions shifted and I began to relive all the moments in my life where I had the chance to fulfill my desires to have sex with other men and sissys but ran away from them. Now I was reliving these moments fully but this time I experienced what might have happened if I had not run away. All the hot man and sissy sex I missed was now being returned to me in a deep embodied way. My body convulsed and spasmed even deeper in response to the ever increasing intensity of waves of deep full body orgasms. My heart filled with healing tears as great reservoirs of past fears and repressions dissolved into a sea of ecstasy and joy. My mind emptied itself of all I thought I was and what the world was. And amidst all this the VOICE whispered: “This is the life you were called to live but have denied. These are the joys and pleasures you have denied yourself and others. All these I have held for you my child and am returning to you now. And with your word I will give you an eternity of great ecstasy and pleasures beyond your wildest dreams. The choice is yours. Do you wish me to stop?”
I had a primal panic attack at the thought of stopping the greatest erotic experience of my life and a voice from deep within me rose up and spoke out loud and clear: “NO” and then I began to cry and whimper and whispered: “No...please...don’t...please don’t stop...” The VOICE whispered softly: “Are you sure my sweet child? If you choose not to stop now, there is no going back for you are choosing to give your body, heart and soul, your entire being, to me.” The ecstasy was too great for me to even imagine living without it and in that moment of profound realization I felt my soul itself drop to its knees in erotically charged submission and I heard my own long repressed deep inner voice rise up from the shadows within my being and breathily and reverently whisper: “Yes MASTER, I am sure. I choose not to stop. I choose you…”
MASTER whispered back: “That’s my girl...Good Girl...”
Listening to MASTER’s words sent chills up and down my spine and my whole being tingled with pleasure. The chills transformed into a warm feeling all over and some unknown part of me felt like a puppy that just got praised by its MASTER. That part of me energetically got down on its knees, held its paws up and panted with its tongue sticking out. As though he were watching it all in my mind, MASTER whispered: “Yes...that’s it...feel the power of my praise, my pet...such a Good Girl...”
At that very moment I was also living out the last of my missed sex opportunity and I felt my MASTER enter the vision and enter the bodies of the last man whose advance I declined. I dropped to my knees deep within my being and tears of joy and whimpers of submission poured out from my heart.
At that moment all the visions seemed to happen at once and integrate into one vast evolving stream of lusting, being and becoming. The man/boi sex stream through all of history and my personal past man/boi sex fantasies and missed sex opportunities streams all merged together to make a vast and deep erotic ecstatic stream within and around me. This great stream of ecstasy rushed through my entire body, heart, mind, soul and spirit encased in my experience of the MASTER’s presence and power and exploded in a full body and full being orgasm. I felt like all the erotic energy of the visions, of my beingness, shot out through my spurting spasming ejaculating COCK. And as my warm sperm sprayed all over my body and the bed I felt my self spaying my self with my self and rode a long and wild full body spasming orgasm for the next few minutes.
Finally my body went limp and I lay there weak and exhausted. My deep inner voice whispered out loud: “Thank you, MASTER...thank you...” I felt as though MASTER was deep inside me still and speaking to me with my body by giving me erotic chills in response to my gratitude. Then came HIS whispering VOICE softly vibrating my whole being and it said: “Mmmm...beautiful...very good my child...always thank your MASTER...thanking your MASTER is pleasurable...MASTER is proud of you, you are learning very fast, you are so susceptible, you are naturally submissive, being submissive gives you great pleasure, you love being submissive, you have been waiting for me your whole life, you want to be transformed...this is only the beginning...”
Suddenly I sensed the presence of several other beings around me and I opened up my eyes. I gasped at the sight of twelve ghostly naked hunky demons with red glowing eyes and giant glowing COCKs all standing around my bed. Their red glowing eyes penetrated my beingness as I looked through the burning flames of their pupils and fell into the erotically charged black holes of existence just behind them. I felt a great hunger coming from them; so vast and deep it was terrifying and awe inspiring. And the COCKs...they were huge and pulsing and throbbing and glowing red from deep within. As I beheld all of this within me I could feel parts of myself freezing in fear and other parts kneeling in awe and still other parts of my being were getting incredibly turned on. I feared for my life, for my existence, at the same time as feeling a great hunger to be ravaged and destroyed by these huge hot hungry demons.
MASTER whispered to me again: “That’s it my child, feel the fear, the darkness, the awe and the hunger...feel each of them and then feel them all as one...” HIS words penetrated me deeply and all of these forces seemed to merge together into a sea of erotic energy that spiraled into a whirlpool deep within my being. MASTER continued: “Now begins your official induction...” And with that the twelve demons pounced on me and proceeded to ravage me for the rest of the evening.
I woke up the next morning alone, naked in bed. My whole body felt weak and ached so deeply. It really felt like everything I went through that night was real. But then I told myself it had to be just a dream. Then I rolled over and discovered that I was covered in sperm and so were the sheets. There was so much sperm all over that my mind started to go… “oh God, it couldn’t have been real...could it?” Then I noticed some blood on the sheets and really freaked out, whispering out loud: “Oh my God, no, no, what is going on here? This can’t be happening? This can’t be real?...”
I went to the bathroom and looked at my body in the mirror. While I could not find anywhere I would be bleeding from, there were several scratches in places where I was scratched the night before during my vision/dream. There was even a bite mark on my neck where one of the demons had bitten me. My stomach twisted in fear and my veins grew flush with stress response hormones as I tried to wrap my head around what was really happening. My heart was racing and I could hardly breath...I made my way to the shower and tried to wash off the sperm off my body and the experience out of my mind. As I stood under the hot water I felt a burning in my ass and looked down to discover blood and sperm leaking out of me. I kept saying to myself...this is impossible...this is impossible… Then I thought maybe I blacked out and had a dream while some guys broke in and raped me while I was unconscious. As I dried my trembling body after the shower, I kept telling myself to breath and that it wasn’t real…
I stood at the sink and looked into the mirror. Just then I felt a pair of hands grab my waist. I looked down but no hands were there. Then I felt hands separate my ass cheeks and felt a giant COCK slowly slide into me while I heard MASTER’s VOICE rise up from deep within me and say: “It was all very real my child...you know it in your heart...this is what you wanted...” With that I swear I felt the MASTER energetically fuck me from behind. My whole body arched and I was lifted onto my toes as HIS giant ghostly COCK pistoned in and out of the depths of my being and exploded with a liquid wave of erotically charged energy that filled my ass, bowels and belly and then shot through my whole being.
So there I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, naked and having a full body orgasm from being energetically fucked by a ghostly demon COCK. Looking at myself, I thought that I must be going insane. But then, since it felt so fucking good I instantly thought that if it was true that I was going insane then the definition of insanity is all fucked up. All this felt so good. It felt so real, so beautiful, so wondrous, so...so...GOOD!!! MASTER slowly pulled his ghostly COCK out of my boi pussy and I felt a great emptiness and hunger wash through me. I panicked with fear of never having MASTER’s COCK inside me again. MASTER whispered: “It’s okay, my sweet servant, I am never going away...I will be with you, in you, around you always. Our journey together is only just begun. You will have regressions on the path ahead where you will feel abandoned by me or your old shaming will return to take you away from me, but you will always come back to me, and each time you will return with a deeper hunger and yearning.” And with that he was gone. For days I wandered around numb and slowly I returned to the everyday world...yet somehow everything was different. I could feel his presence still inside me, and as my eyes looked out onto the world of form I could feel another set of eyes behind my own eyes, seeing and showing me the hidden shadows within and without.
That was my first visit by the DARK LORD, my MASTER, and we have since had many visits and while it is true I have run away from the path many times, it is also true that I always CUM back with a deeper hunger and yearning than before…
